Pleasantly Plum Pie.

It's plum delicious. And fragrant with cinnamon, nutmeg and cardamom.

There also isn't a proper plum in sight of it. As the stone fruit season is at its height, I was feeling inspired - and in desperate want of comfort food. This pie is actually filled with nectarines and red, ripe pluots.

Plus, it happens to be fracking delicious and wholly bloody adorable.

I've made the most out of Labor Day weekend by keeping things at a leisurely pace. I took the time to read, clean my kitchen, wash my hair every day... and eat lunch. All those pesky things I don't find time for during a work week. So spending a half hour humming away as I peeled pluots and noshed on their skins seemed in order with events. I've been tired, frustrated and out of sorts lately, and I can't really doubt the wisdom of tabling all the things I should be working on for the past few days. I've reached the conclusion that I needed absolutely every second of down time I've taken, and I'm going to wring out a little more before the day is done.

And, with a little luck, I'll successfully inspire you to bake something beautiful.


SPICED STONE FRUIT PIE
For the crust:
* 3 cups all purpose unbleached flour
* 1 cup butter or vegan margarine, cold
* 1 tsp salt, or to taste
* 2 tsp sugar
* 3 Tbs cold water

For the filling:
* 3 lbs assorted stone fruits, any variety
* 1 cup sugar, plus extra for dusting
* 1-2 tsp cardamom
* 1/2 tsp cinnamon
* 1/2 tsp nutmeg
* 1/2 tsp allspice
* 3-4 Tbs cornstarch

Wash your fruit, then trace an incision all around the middle of the fruit with a sharp knife. Twist the two halves - if your fruit is ripe enough, they'll come apart cleanly. The nectarines were very firm fleshed and didn't cooperate so well, so I carefully sliced them off the stone - the pluots were more forgiving, and I even managed to peel the skins off with ease. Not so with the nectarines - I abandoned my effort at peeling them, so do what you will in that regard. Slice them into even 1/2 inch pieces, and set aside.

To make crust, combine flour, sugar and salt thoroughly. Add the butter or margarine in thin pats, about 1/8 - 1/4 in width - if you aren't using stick butter, thumb off tiny spoonfuls into the flour mixture. Blend slowly with a large wooden spoon as well as you can, then knead with your hands until the mixture forms doughy crumbles. Add water and knead until the desired consistency is achieved - you may need more water to hold the pastry together, just until it can be formed into a large ball without crumbling.

Divide the dough into two balls, then squish them into thick, flat patties for rolling out on a lightly floured surface. Dust flour over the top of the first patty, then roll out to the appropriate size. Use the rolling pin slowly, as this crust is quite light and flaky. The edges of your growing disc may crack and try to pull apart as you go - tuck the edges of the round under to keep tears from forming, and gently roll them out. Maneuver your pastry into a pie tin via any act of sorcery of your choice - I roll my crust out on floured foil, slide both hands beneath it like a spatula, then flip it quickly into the tin.

Arrange the fruit in the tin, taking care to make a higher mound in middle that tapers out level toward the edges. Pour sugar, spices and cornstarch over the filling evenly - alternatively, you could toss these with the fruit before placing them in the pie. Roll out your second patty of pastry dough to an even round, and cover the pie with it.

Trim the edges if they hang down the sides of the pie tin, then carefully pinch together edges of top and bottom crusts and fold them under, creating a soft rise of dough all around. Flute the edges by gently pinching the crust down and outward at regular intervals - it should look crenelated all around, as in the picture. Alternatively, you can use a fork to make attractive indentations around the pie edges, or just leave them unadorned, but do make sure there is a seal between the two layers of crust - the filling will turn very liquid while baking and may seep out. Dust with sugar if desired.

To vent the pie, cut at least four large notches in the center - or use a cookie cutter and make cutesy shapes, like I did. Heat the oven to 375 degrees. Take a piece of foil, and fold it in the center to make a 'tent' - place this loosely over the pie before sliding it onto the top rack of the oven. If you used my tip and rolled out your dough on foil, feel free to fold it over and reuse it for this.

Bake for 60 to 90 minutes, or until the filling is bubbling up out of the holes and the sugar and cornstarch are no longer visible.

If your pie is too watery, you can let it firm up in the fridge before demolishing it - but nothing beats a hot plum pie, take it from me. If you used a preponderance of wetter, less firm fleshed fruits, lean on the heavier side with the cornstarch.

I had a slice for breakfast. It's quite tasty cold... enjoy. :)

Vegan Raw Balls: BIZZOMB.

I hate to go there. You know, the "rawer-than-thou" place that makes everyone secretly cringe in the presence of self-absorbed health food enthusiasts, but I've got to give a thumbs up to the raw ball craze, because these babies are really good. "Superfood" is a bit of a stretch, "energy balls" I'm not yet sold on, and if you think something half composed of ground up nuts isn't ungodly fattening, you might be delusional.

But these unassuming little fruit and nut goods definitely have a place at my table - plus, they're extremely easy to make and meet my laziest threshold of "cooking" criteria, and you'll only need a blender and one food storage container if you play your cards right. (I did)

I tested a batch of these at work - one person asked for the recipe, and half of my co-workers came back for seconds!

SWEET SESAME RAW BALLS
7 dried whole dates
4-6 dried whole apricots
1 cup raw pecan pieces
1/2 tsp agave nectar
sesame seeds to coat

Soak dried fruit in a bowl of warm water for as long as your patience holds. Mine lasted somewhere between ten and fifteen minutes... so long as they become more pliable and have some substance to them when lightly squeezed. Remove from water and shake off excess, then transfer to a blender or food processor. Blend into a sticky paste - there may be small chunks, but it should really be more like a spread than a tampenade. You may have to scrape the mixture down toward the blades with a spoon a couple of times as it sticks to the sides of the blender. Spoon out the resulting paste and set it aside. Transfer the pecans to your blender and grind them into a fine-ish consistency. It should be soft and fluffy, not terribly chunky. Mix the fruit paste back into the blender and scrape the mixture down toward the blades. Add agave nectar and any extras you want to throw in at this point. Blend the mixture into a sticky paste, then spoon out into a bowl. Roll them into balls of desired size with your hands, then roll in sesame seeds or garnish of your choice to coat.

Lots of directions, but not time intensive. I used a food processor with a very short body and it took about five minutes.

The resulting balls should look something like this. Except, y'know, more date and apricot colored. These have about a tablespoon of dark chocolate blended in, and half were rolled in excess ground almonds.

I really wanted to add coconut to these, but Torr is allergic - hence the rolling in sesame seeds. These would be super delicious with unsweetened coconut flakes, cacao, dried berries, or anything else you want to add. I tried to go for a 50/50 date to apricot ratio in part because dried apricots are notably lower in sugar and calories and these balls are very sweet already, but you can use different proportions or forgo the apricots altogether. Figs would probably work well. I don't know if apricots or other dried fruits are sticky enough to bind together by themselves if you're not a date and fig fan... I imagine anything soaked in water long enough would become increasingly agreeable, but these have a really nice chewy yet soft texture.

Ooh, that's right. You'll never pay for a Kind bar again.

Go forth, experiment, dare I say FREEBALL? (!!!)

Cheers!

Post-scriptum.

WTF Strawberry.

This turned up in a pint of strawberries we bought at the grocer's. It's... enormous. Here's my itty bitty homegrown variety pictured below, organically container grown.

Holy freaking crap is probably the phrase I'm looking for. I've never seen a strawberry this big. I really hope this is just innate to the variety of strawberry I purchased and not the result of some freaky-deaky GMO or fertilizer treatment, but I've become a bit of a food conspiracy theorist over time...

Enjoy that shortcake, folks.

Cheers!

Almost Instant Gratification.

Let's get something straight here. I -LOVE- to cook from scratch, but when my stomach's rumbling, hungry bitch mode is imminent, and I can list at least seven things I'd rather be doing than spend #value hours in the kitchen - it really isn't a practical solution. I really do love salads, but... more often than not, I equate dinner with a warm and satisfying meal.

Quandary? Not quite. There IS a delicious alternative to crippling mid-week culinary burnout!

HOT SPINACH TABBOULEH SALAD


Note: this recipe is vegan .

You will need:
* 1 box tabbouleh mix (should come with spice packet, just add water!)
* 3/4 to 1 cup tomatoes, any variety, diced
* 1 1/2 cups fresh baby spinach
* 6 cloves garlic, minced
* 1 Tbs extra virgin olive oil
* juice of 1 lemon (optional)
* salt and pepper to taste

For the tabbouleh, follow the instructions on the label. I use Near East brand tabbouleh mix - just add one cup boiling water, stir well, and refrigerate for thirty minutes. Seriously, can anything beat that? After completing all necessary grainy ministrations, add olive oil to a wok or skillet and bring to medium high heat. Add the garlic and tomatoes, and saute for a minute and a half to two minutes, or until the liquid from the tomatoes has filled the skillet and the garlic is sufficiently softened. Pour the prepared tabbouleh into the pan, add salt and pepper or lemon juice as desired, and gently combined the spinach into the mix. Stir the for a couple of minutes until the spinach is softened and well incorporated into the mixture.

That's it. Serve up with toasted pita wedges and hummus if desired, or spoon over lettuce leaves and cooked, shelled edamame for a hot and cold salad - one of my favorite leftovers-to-lunch quickies.

This recipe works out particularly well because, truth be told, I really don't care for raw tomatoes. The trivial amount of time they spend in the skillet eliminates the mushy, watery factor that really puts me off of them, and I don't have to slice them up absurdly fine and shove them into anonymous veggie sandwiches to mask the texture.

Mmn. That is EXACTLY what I wanted. Tasty, filling, full of greens and good for you. Don't be afraid to add more spinach or to combine some raw spinach leaves into the mix if it suits you - the more good stuff, the merrier. Serve up with a chilled bottle of Reed's Spiced Apple Cider for an edibly orgasmic experience.

Bon bloody appetit, folks. Cheers!

Snackfood Confessional.

I feel like my first efforts were unfairly hijacked, and as this blog just proved its usefulness yesterday...

Torr: HONEY, I CAN'T FIND A RECIPE.
Me: @#$^! IT'S ON MY USELESS BLOODY BLOG.
Torr: <333 ^_^ :D LOL FLATBREADZ kthxbai*

... I really can't bring myself to let it fall by the wayside totally.

So this seems like a great time to bring up my love of snacking.

Yes ma'am, snacking.

Though I'm absolutely a proponent of vegetarians as purveyors of very naughty habits, I'm really not convinced that noshing between meals deserves the heinous rep it's been branded with in recent years. Certainly, snacking rounds out my diet as I typically eschew large meals - and sadly, I don't appear to be experiencing any ill effects as a result. I don't take a normal lunch break, and variety is the cornerstone of my cravings, thus many of my "meals" consist of any bits and pieces that strike me as tantalizing, or staggered munching throughout the day to keep my bitch streak at bay.

So, what's the punchline? Your homework: compile favorite vegetarian snack list, add a witty riposte, post to comments.

Here's mine:

* smoked almonds + tamari
* organic frozen berry medley, as is
* Whole Soy and Co. peach soy yogurt
* fresh fruit: strawberries, oranges, pummelos, mangoes, pomegranates
* whole steamed edamame
* vegetable gyoza, cold
* bars: Odwalla Super Protein, Kashi TLC Honey Almond Flax, Kashi Roll
* pistachios
* raw almond butter
* chilled tabbouleh salad
* Riceworks: Salsa Fresca + sliced avocado
* chocolate covered cacao nibs
* baked sweet potato fries + fresh herbs

Erika, you know which one you're at fault for. x.x

* paraphrased edition; emphasis mine

Musings, Beautiful Food.

I love the simplicity of real Italian cuisine. We whip up a lot of Italian dishes ourselves because pasta is cheap and the ingredients are fresh and few, major wins in my book. Today, I was ruminating on...

http://www.italianchef.com

Unimpressive to you? But the sheer minimalism excites me! The pumpkin gnocchi with sage butter sounds to die for. Or at least to drool over in anticipation for a while. What's more, he's linked a recipe for coffee flavored gelato.

Get out of my head, man! I don't eat NEARLY enough for lunch to keep my defenses up against this kind of thing.

In other news, I threw together a lovely lemon and butterscotch cheesecake last night for my sweetheart. I kind of lost a bet to him about bathing cats... I figured I had an easy one on my hands there - who the heck would VOLUNTARILY bathe indoor cats on a regular basis? Alas, one ego-inflated phone call to my vet left me sentenced to an evening of indentured cheesecake servitude. Not my favorite dessert item, but it was fun to put together. I was a little disappointed with the flavor - the cream cheese absolutely overwhelmed the amazing, home-spun lemon curd I folded in, but its hour will come...


FRIED GREEN TOMATOES were absolutely delicious! I mixed up two parts organic pancake batter with one part corn meal, beat in milk until it created dense batter, and dredged the little 1/2 thick beauties through it - two quick turns in a well oiled cast iron pan, a light dusting of salt and freshly ground peppercorns, a dollop of natural ranch dressing laced with salsa, and voila! Beautiful food. Delicious dinner. Minutes spent in the kitchen. Of course, the tomatoes also spattered like mad during the frying process, being an awfully watery vegetable, but burns aside, I was pleased with the outcome. This could easily be veganized by using oat milk, or just adding water with a bit of corn starch in it. I've certainly done it before.

Tonight, stuffed poblano peppers...

I think that's all the chattiness in me for now.

Cheers!

By Word of Mouth.

I have a backlog of foodie photography waiting to be slapped up for the world to drool over, but the desktop is currently out of commission, and my browsing is confined to moments of bored indiscretion at work. Bah! I just don't have the heart to post recipes without photos, but I suppose I can sucker myself into doing anything if I set the bar low enough...

That being said, and quite commensurate with my mission statement and various fine print concerning minimal effort, I would like to present a repost of three original recipes I emailed to a friend earlier this year, pulled from my work desk. They're quick, cheap, you'll find out why Ramen noodles and salad should be close and personal bosom companions, and general awe shall dominate as I marry hummus with whitewashed pseudo Thai food.

Hmm. Honesty comes across slightly less winsome when I put it like that... but here it goes:

NOTE: All recipes 'should' be vegan... I mean, I'm not going to re-read it for you if that's what you were expecting. Ramen is suggested for the salad, but that's just what I had to hand. Alternatives are provided.

NOODLES IN SPICY PB SAUCE *
YOU WILL NEED
- ½ package rice noodles
- sesame oil
- about 2 Tbs soy sauce, reduced sodium preferred
- 4-5, perhaps even 6 Tbs peanut butter, crunchy preferred
- 4-6 cloves garlic, peeled and minced finely
- roughly 2 tbs grated ginger or pickled ginger paste
- 4 or so scallions, white and green parts, sliced thin
- lots of matchstick style carrots
- Thai chili paste or some red pepper flakes by the tsp, to taste
- 1/2 - 1 Tbs vinegar (white, balsamic, cider, etc., NO rice or wine vinegars)
- a few dashes sugar, to taste
- maybe 1/8 cup water to thin sauce

But seriously, I don't measure any of this junk, so don't put yourself out.

Boil noodles while your sauce cooks, and this is super quick. Prepare noodles per package directions. Heat a little sesame oil in a wok or nonstick skillet on med high heat. When it's hot, toss in garlic, scallions, carrots, soy sauce, ginger, sautee for maybe a minute while you grab the rest of your goods. Add peanut butter first, follow with a a few Tbs water to keep it from bunching and sticking to one spot, and toss all that other stuff in there - keep stirring! If you cook on high enough heat, it should be done in minutes and your carrots should still be crispy. You may want to wait until toward the end to add the vinegar as it tends to boil off. Reduce heat to low. Drain those noodles you've been boiling, throw them in the pan, and coat in sauce. Serve up. You can add different veggies to this dish – shelled edamame, sugar snap peas, bok choy, etc.

... and this salad I made goes great with it:

DESPERATION SALAD
(I made this using leftovers and random pantry items, like canned mandarin oranges and Ramen noodles - mmn mmn, don't tell the nutrition police)
YOU WILL NEED:
- chopped green leaf or romaine lettuce, stems included
- matchstick carrots
- cooked edamame, shelled
- mandarin or regular orange slices, cut to bite size pieces
- sesame seeds, sunflower seeds, toasted cashews, ramen or crispy rice noodles, broken into bite size pieces – anything to give it a crunchy texture

Put it all together and what have you got? Top with...

LAZY HUMMUS DRESSING:
Whisk several Tbs any kind hummus (go bold: use an olive variety) with some sesame oil, vinegar, and soy sauce, proportions to taste. It should come out with a creamy consistency. Drizzle. Yum. I usually just make this by the batch, so I have no clue how long it will keep in the refrigerator. This was way more desperate than the salad it went on, but it’s some of the best darn dressing I’ve had.

Enjoy - happy cooking Silbia!

-----------------------------------------

* the politically correct title. Also see Apologetically Self-Loathing Noodles of Indeterminate Origin.

As stated above, all recipes herein inspired by what was currently sitting in the refrigerator and pantry - so go forth, and make the best out of your bits and pieces. I said these recipes are cheap - and they are, assuming you have all of this stuff on hand to begin with. If these are not your usual pantry staple items, you may be left with some juidicious purchasing to do - or flight of fancy it with what you've got, and let me know how it goes. Whatever you do, DO NOT toss the noodle dish with an inadequate amount of sauce or the taste will be bland and unfriendly. Adjusting quantities of salt and sugar can help bring out the flavor of the ingredients.

Mmmn. Tonight, fried green tomatoes with citrusy pasta salad and greens. I'll let you know how it goes... eventually. *scowl*

Cheers!

Pizza Goes Punctual.

Smorgasbord o' cheeses, saucy two step, whole wheat crust in a hurry. This is the laziest homemade pizza I've ever made, and it's fracking delicious. You'll be rolling out this crust in no more than thirty minutes, so roll up your sleeves and prepare to take that smoke break you've been jonesing for - shhh, we won't tell. We all know you're a very health conscious vegetarian.

INFALLIBLE WHOLE WHEAT PIZZA CRUST

Note: this crust is VEGAN when you substitute agave nectar or other sweetener of your choice for honey. I mean, unless you're some kind of radical and you think yeast has feelings. Coat this pizza in pesto made with soy Parmesan instead of cheese, and you're good to go.

You will need...
* 1 cup whole wheat flour
* 1/2 cup unbleached all purpose flour, plus extra for dusting
* 1 packet active dry yeast
* roughly 1/2 tsp salt
* 1 Tbs fresh rosemary and oregano, or about 1 1/2 tsp dried
* 2 Tbs extra virgin olive oil
* 2 Tbs honey
* 2/3 cup warm water

Combine flours and yeast in a large bowl; mix liquid ingredients separately. Add wet to dry, and combine with a large wooden spoon until the dough forms a ball and quits sticking to the sides of your mixing bowl. Turn out onto a lightly floured surface with flour dusted hands, and knead for about 1 - 2 minutes. If you didn't make a mess of your mixing bowl, grease the sides lightly with olive oil - if it's pooling in the bottom, pour some out. Place the dough in the bowl and cover it with a clean cloth; leave it in a warm place to rise for twenty minutes. Rolling out is where laziness overcomes me. Personally, I lightly flour the same baking sheet I intend to cook my pizza on, plop the dough directly on it, and take the rolling pin to it. I hate doing dishes, and unless you're wildly liberal with the flour, it's no big deal. The dough is very elastic and will hold up well even if rolled quite thin, so use your own discretion.

Ta-da! Lovely, delicious homemade, (mostly) whole wheat pizza crust. This recipe *might* even work without the use of white flour - it really is surprisingly elastic, so if you feel like courting failure, let me know how that goes for you, eh?

Now, PUT THINGS ON IT.


This particular pizza looks a bit gangrenous since we decided to use up leftover pesto on it... Note Torr's half of the pizza is bombed out like a cheese covered Dresden. Mine is sad and scant but deliciously tomato covered. Well, onward.

You can make quickie pizza sauce by combining water and tomato paste until you achieve the consistency desired. I like using pesto or Italian herb varieties of paste; it keeps me out of the spice cabinet, always a dangerous foray. You may want to add salt or sugar to adjust the flavor.

Spread out the sauce, and sprinkle on 4 - 8 ounces of cheese. I use a pre-shredded mix of Romano, Mozzarella, Parmesan and Provolone cheeses. This pizza is pretty good even with minimal cheese... dairy doesn't like to play nice with Nicole.

Toss veggies on it! We like ours with minced garlic, freshly sliced mushrooms, Roma tomatoes sliced thin and smothered all over that bitch, a sprinkling of dried basil and oregano and some black pepper, but we're pretty sure anything's good on it. I love baby Swiss chard on pizza... so, unleash your inner veggie fanatic, go forth, and pile on the panache.

I should probably be killed for writing that.

Throw this round of cheesy glory into the oven at 375 - 400 degrees for twenty-ish minutes. Have another smoke break, if desired.

Crust can be prepared and rolled out the night before with identical results. Just cover the pan with foil or plastic wrap and stuff it in the refrigerator. In my case, the yeast continued to rise quite a bit, but the crust returned to a normal level during baking. This is one of my favorite weekday dinner fallbacks.

With a little luck or numerous prayers to deity of your choice, your pizza should look just gorgeous. For best results, coat liberally with fresh avocado and Louisiana hot sauce. Obviously.

Cheers!